My guess is many of you are B-gaming it. I know, because I B-gamed it for years. There’s a good chance you might be B-gaming it and you may not even be fully aware of it. Me? I was aware. For y-e-a-r-s I was painfully aware.
The B game is a tricky bastard. It often looks like success. It means you are doing pretty darn well for yourself. You have money, you have recognition. In fact, you are pretty good at what you do. I mean you might even be excellent at what you do, but still... it’s your B game.
The A Game
Now your A game...it’s that thing you’ve always dreamed of doing, but you haven’t yet. I mean because it would just be too good to be true. And really, are you “allowed” to do it? Is life really allowed to be so awesome? Kind of feels like you’d be tempting the Universe, right?
If your A game is pertaining to your life’s work, it is work only you can do and in the way that only you can do it. It’s your zone of genius. Your A game doesn’t necessarily have to be about your work, although often it is.
Whether it's work or a way of being in this world, it is you being full out you. You are leaving nothing on the table. You are delivering work that no one else could possibly deliver. You are living in a way that honors every ounce of your soul. You are giving it your all.
It’s usually that thing you’ve been dreaming of and talking about for years. It’s also that feeling of restlessness and the “more” you are searching for. Those feelings are there to get your attention. They are your call to play your A game.
The A game is what we were born to do. And ironically, that's exactly why we're not doing it. For one the B game looks like success and it is at some level. We can easily become too comfortable and complacent there.
While so many other people aren't even in the game. You know those folks, who work 9-5 or much longer and hate their work, complain about it, yet plan to do nothing to change it. They live for the weekend. And my guess is they watch a lot of TV, especially reality TV. They live through other people’s lives.
But, B gamers are in the game! They are up to big stuff. They look successful to other people and themselves. They are comfortable in life. Doing great work. Making a great living. Making some great contribution. But still, it’s the B game.
Our A games aren't comfortable. They stretch us. They challenge us. And most painful of all, they expose our greatest fears. Our A game is what we hold closest to our heart. So we protect.
:: It's the book you want to write, publish, and change the world with.
:: It's the songs you want to sing, record, and deliver to the world.
:: It's the jewelry you want to make and set up shop with.
:: It's the house you want to sell to travel the world.
:: It’s the project that lights your soul on fire.
:: It's the foundation you want to establish.
:: It's the race of all races you want to kick ass at.
:: It's the business you have dreamed of starting.
:: It's that message, that purpose, that thing that only can be done in the way that you can do it.
And it is so precious to you. It means so much. So much that you will protect it, your ego, and your heart by not doing it. It's easier to dream about "one day" than to experience the possibility of failing, rejection, or criticism in the here and now.
So instead we play our B game. We do a lot of good stuff. We do a lot of great stuff. Even some freaking excellent stuff. We stay busy. So busy we distract ourselves. We use excuses...not enough time, not enough money, maybe when the kids leave home, maybe if I were single, maybe if I were married, maybe if the economy were better, maybe when I know a little more, maybe when I'm a little more ready...
All excuses. All lies we use to comfort ourselves and let ourselves off the hook of our A Game.
But the truth is we are not ever "off the hook" because each year that goes by, each month, each week, each day, each minute ....it is eating at us at a soul level. We can try to fool ourselves, but deep down we feel the truth.
We are NOT living what we came here to live. We are holding back. We are downplaying our potential. We are waiting. We are dying a little bit each day.
I know for me, my A game is to be a published transformational author who impacts lives on a global scale. I've known this for some time. It feels too good to be true. And guess what, there are a ton of great transformational authors who have accomplished this quite easily. And there is a good chance it is their B game.
I've been very successful in business. Why? It's my B game. I can do it really well. And the thought of failing, although unpleasant, doesn't make me come unglued. It doesn't touch my heart at a deep level. So I'm willing to take risks. I'm willing to have some fun. I'm willing to do the work because well...it just doesn't mean as much. Or rather I haven't attached such a heavy meaning or burden to it. So it's successful.
But writing a book and it being rejected or criticized? Or, OMGosh, what if I really can't write anything great? What if I can't impact lives the way my heart desires at its deepest level. Ouch. That really gets me where it hurts.
I've been writing a lot lately. I have one little book complete. One is currently with my editor (yep, loved saying that again!) And I'm working on my 3rd.
And...I feel completely exposed. I feel vulnerable. I feel stretched and challenged. AND I feel immense relief AND exhilaration. I feel on purpose, with purpose like I have never been before.
And that is what living an EPIC life is about. We are meant to feel fear, uncertainty, and doubt. We are meant to stretch, to be challenged, and to grow. We are meant to feel alive, engaged, and exhilarated.
There are two reason why we don't exceed at playing our A game:
1. We never start. We never get in the game.
2. We give up. We DNF on our biggest dreams.
Actually, there is a 3rd reason, and it's legit. Many people don't know what their A game is. It's been pushed aside and covered up for far too long. It may need to be discovered.
I'm obsessed with helping others discover their A game and then helping them develop the Courage to go for it! Reach out to me if you need support.
UPDATE: You know my book at the editor’s? Well it’s on Amazon now! Check it out!
Hollie “A-Gaming” Flynn